Amnesia

the room isn't small but with all the space 'heat' was taking up it seemed that it was. her bed rest by the window which was wide open inviting some hint of cool air to enter.the fan blew the curtain that frames her post.A bronzed caramelized red skinned women lay in bed with nothing but her under garments on in a pool of hot water bursting from her pores. the walls of the room were soaked with sweat leaving tear trails going down into small puddles of water. only the light from the street outlines  her silhouette in the bed.her hair covers her face running long thick curly and wavy the color of amber-black. chubby and soft she stood at 5'6 1/2 hair past her shoulders.a 22 yr old creole gal from St.Louis. she is uneasy with a healthy craving for a aberrant angel she seems to never find.. fumbling around, her mind is  distracted by the night sounds. the city lights called her and she decided to answer to the beckoning. shes stepping out on this sleepless night.

CHATPTER1  "what is the problem,its to hot for me to be tired yet i am. the day has been long one should get paid while looking for a job since it is such hard work.who would've thought i wouldn't be able to find a job while in grad school?"she looks over to her night stand and gazes at the time."its only 8 o'clock?" next to the clock was a flyer. AMNESIA NIGHT CLUB."hmmm,I'm thinking P and Ant wanted to hit this club tonight." her black berry goes off with  a text message from P"hey gal , is u rolling (amnesia hella niggaz shaking booty)we gon b thur @10" "fosho,give me 60minz i will be thur0 :)" "K". Ant and p roll up outside  presents recognized by the honk of the car horn. the thing about these to friends of mine is P or rather Patricia  a short  voluptuous  non b.s kinda chick.she had shoulder length black sand shaded hair.her complexion was on the darker side of  crown royal.thick in all the right places  deep-set oval-shaped eyes that were the black-flecked light brown of pecan shells...chil Ive known her back since pitty pat and mudd pies, i was always the one getting into trouble she was the one making it her business to stay out of anything i was in lol most of the time.you can say me and P are more sisters than anything else. Antoinette or ant as i call her we met in middle school . she wanted everyone to think she was the quite new gal from Houston Texas but ofcorse  i new better.Ant was down for anything.i suppose or adventures made us kin to the bone.ant was a deep mocha ebony black.with just as black of a full head of hair to match.petite in statue with Heavy-lidded round black diamond colored eyes.i cant see life without those to ladies.

bumping music the whole way to the club i should have known it was them outside  my pad lol the music stays blasting. we jointed from  Gyptian to Plies to "this here's another nasty song" lol we had the club in that car as always DJ Ant was on da 1s and 2s.so Amnesia is always packed.you get people from all islands east coast and west coast coming to shake and bake rep their country.Ant was the one with the connect.she most of got kryptonite in her pum pum because she be having dudes turning tricks for her.with just one phone call we park and walk passed all 3LINES with the females cutting there eyes and the males tryna figure out who we are.it didn't help that we knew all the promoters and DJ's in the spot.Amnesia vibrated with sound and color.it wasn't a smoky spot but clear and open.one things for sure as the night progresses the intermingled smells of smoke and sweat and too many people will instantly assault your nostrils. as soon as we mash up Inna Di building we're noticed. it never fails.the men go out there way to smile.women make it a point to cling on to whatever they feel is threatened. and the folks we do know fall over their own feet to give us hugs.you would think it would all rush to our heads and wed be walking sideways.we planted  ourselves at our normal spot next to the DJ's booth and that's when i noticed him.in he darkness the spotlight came over him and crowned him king.and could it be? in all the commotion music body's and dark he also noticed me. he nodded his head and i caught myself smiling downwards.who is this man?all at once it seemed like it was just him and i in the club never mind those fluttering girls around him praising parts of him endlessly, his eyes were on me.
i looked for confirmation from Ant and P but honey they was in there own jive.i was so sunk in this mysterious man i didn't see my own brotha walking in and inhaling P.my brotha was a giant of a man build like a football player height of a basketball player. he stood at 6'9 and counting.with grassy gold-orange eyes.if you haven't talked to us to learn, we shouldve been twins , because we share one mind.
by appearance you wouldn't know he had the privilege of changing my diapers.i swear if they don't make it to the alter ain't no hope for nobody. they been chasing each others hid since before grade school. and Ant was all bubbled up in Jamayik(juh,my,A)if she was a deer she show would've missed those head lights.Ant was so into this man,more than what she would let on. he was a low-fat coffee cinnamon  brother short hair narrow eyes plump lips with his New York Jamaican style. i looked towards the bar not giving way that I'm staring directly at this man staring directly at me.my wafting movements was being tasted by his eyes my voice licked in by his yearning yielding ears  Who am i for him not to deny?
 i swear that man needed a building permit just to order a drink  looking cleaner than the board of health
.i had to look around to see if i was really the one who he was gocking at.a gorgeous man with his deepness of black. looking like he stepped straight out of a picture just to capture me.he had to be brothas height if not one inch shorter.his hair was silky black and he had to have stole those waves from the ocean.satin black eyes.juicy plump Afro-Black lips.a creamy black raspberry tone.i must get closer to this man.i make my way over to the bar .he eased his way over to me.i stared forward and mouthed my request to the bartender. with a smirk on his face showing one big dimple he said "what took you so long to come over here and talk to me?"
 being so close to this man made my thighs ache. and his voice was like rolling thunder, warm and thick.
"what makes you think that i came over here to talk to you?"

"who else had your attention?...i tell you what though you didn't have to come over i was just about to make my way over to you and ask you your name" blushing i calmly yet boldly changed the subject.
"Ive never seen you here before..."
"because i ain't never been here before."
"so what makes tonight different?"
"me meeting you."
"is that what this is , meeting?"
"that's what I'm making it."
 we talked for what seemed like days. there i was all alone with this delightfully strange man. talking of seasons and reasons.i thought surely my voice would melt into the cries of a hundred others but he heard every note and never missed a beat.to him it seemed i was the black berry wine uncut, sweet as nectar that comes from the vine.his eyes read my syrupy ruby lips and searched my poured enchanting amber skin.
 i looked up at him, intrigued.searching through his stony deep and lustrous dancing eyes.his voice creeped up like a storm."so why you being so stingy with your name?"i noticed them before but up close his devilish eyes invited me in grabed hold of me and shook until  i couldn't speak my own name.i smiled flirtatiously"theres not much you can do about that,well,whats your name ?"
"they call me CAJ, but you can call me Anthony" extending my hand and trying to hold on to a breath long enough to carry my name i replied "Nicole"


HEY EVERYONE SO BASICALLY I WAS SITTING BORED AND DECIDED TO WRITE MY FIRST A URBAN TALE I SUPPOSE. LOL .SO FAR I HAVE 6 CHARTERERS AND JUST ENDED CHAPTER 1. I DONT ABSOLUTELY KNOW WHERE THIS STORY IS GOING TO GO BUT IM WILLING IF YOUR WILLING TO READ IT ...SO LET ME KNOW WHAT CHU THINK A LIL MORE OF THIS A LIL LESS OF THAT IT WOULD BE GREATLY APPERICATED . AWESOMENESS!!

To You

I looked for you today expecting the routine, of my eyes connecting with yours.yet you wer absent from my sight.to gaze upon you is a mid-day pleasure.I concenplate silently, looking forward to analyzing the deep mocha cream of your skin;and natural curl of your hair. The dark voluptuousness of your lips;and Afro-Black of your nose. The cut of your jaw, low-key chiseled your features. I wanted to see you today, to quiver under your mountain like statue. Like always I wanted to amaze at your Neo-Bummish soul style. I enjoy seeing you. Because of the challenge of reading you. How undetectable is the whole of you. I looked for you today. Caught myself lingering,longing, found myself wanting. You wer missing today;without even knowing it.

im waiting

im waiting for the man with the eyes of morings glories.the man that makes death and life enduring neighors.he would b like seeing sun and shower go.the man that would have his back against the sun and his feet in water,that would make him confortable safe and warm.
The man with the sunset in his eyes.his body would move in the dance of seasons,with the patterns of sunshine and rain.he would move with the unpredictable and strange loveliness,as if hes imitating GOD moving upon moutains all is motions towards me would reflect in love.
His path wonder and his heart a dream.his ways past finding out like faith and love. he is grace and terror.he is grace and gentleness. the loving kindness on the faces of the inocent.the cruelty of storms.he is mercy. his ways beautiful but strange as birth and death. and yet he is and would be so much more.

Dear MOON

True and Perfect Beauty,

You are still my MOON. You embrass me,much like tornado blasting your way through my heart. Loving you is like trying to catch smoke with ones bare hand. MOON, you are a ghostly galleon,tossing in my cloudy mind. Much like myself the nights sky belongs to you. Limitless, as high as it is wide. So hard to ignore the winking stars in your testiment black darkness. Giving not truth nor fact but possibilities.And there, I LOVE YOU,"THE MOON",inundated of your spell,under the midnight stars.

I cant seem to fathom by the life of me why i perfer the night over day. Niether why i rather the moon over the sun...Daylight, she drowned further and heavier into his abyess. Theres something about a moon-lite night with dim light of stars; the sky is deeper.a brilliant painfully dark rollercoaster of ecstasy. Forever in eachothers shadow. Never touching. Always passing , clocking shifts. Eventhough afternoon shadows are stretched long and thin."O RADIANT DARK! O DARKLY FOSTERED RAY! THOU HAST A JOY TO DEEP FOR SHALLOW DAY."(1)

My MOON, carry me to the edge of your eternal swarth. I know you. You are exploding stars and colliding galaxies. Eyes open i plung myself into your dusk and your obscurity covers me like a blanket. Distant stars magnifys silence , and still, you are, MOON. I welcome the hush of the evening and I kiss the sky.

Soon,MOON. You will be overwhelmed by the fierce SUN. You will endure dawns slow promise of warmth. You will have to bask under her glow. But for now, in your infinite sky, motionless above, you have turned day into night.

signed:

THE SUN (ur tulip)



(1)"The Radiant Dark" di George Eliot (1819-18

in making this blog i new i had nothing to say lol saying that its been a week since my last post and let me tell you is was nothing serious just some lame introduction to this spot 'my page'. so what to chat to you folkz about.lets rewind to the beginning of the summer. on the rush to get back to Cali (b/c of tornado's) i was in hopes of finding a job to pay off my tuition.i just knew i was getting back to OU for next semester. turns out the economy was right? lol there was and is still a slim chance that you will find a job in Cali mind you. but after a long search blood and tears with alot of suns going down I FOUND ONE! yaye rt? wrong omgee my job was nothing but a legal hustle.i was Begin pimped by the system welp that had to come to a stand still.im a rebellious soul anyway and to be constantly pestered,irked, and ruffled was cramping my style.nope had to get outta thur and on the the next THANK YOU YAHWEH. with a few conversations through my church family Is gots me a job i truly enjoy.now I'm a Hostess/Cashier dealing with people on there terms serving and touching lives. for example yesterday a man who seemingly was a bum came through the market seeking a hint of humanity. a hint of love'warmness' he came to our both and now that i looked back i didn't realize his 'situtaion' just a person who needed service i  provided him such service as if he were society\ies perception of normal. he gazed at me with judgemental eyes in surprise. unbelief that i didn't cringe at his touch. he decided to buy something from our both. stood there not knowing what to expect next. he said"not many people are friendly here at this market" suggesting the customer service was below satisfactory. but because of my smile and love radiating from around me he chose to put money in my pocket lol touching someones life is all worth while.

what do they call her?

she started this blog with the intent of storing her poetry and thoughts. Kind of like an online diary, that allows others to read. she was skeptical to start a blog, because of the simple fact that she thought she would have nothing to talk about. Luckily, her friend, Kiara, was enthusiastic for her to start one. she is a poetic, artistic, crazy madd friendly energy. she speaks life from her soul.she drips love from her lips. she is rich honey biscuit red Georgia clay.she is as fierce as the sun and glows because of the moon. The most generous,loyal, smart, outgoing person you could ever meet!!...very charismatic and charming...the biggest flirt ever!!....MEN adoreHER &WOmen want to be hER!!Always the life of the party.S He is highly driven and sufficiently motivated at all times...SHe loves performing and is a total humanitarian..She has a love for culture and  her heritage!!she  is more of a what-you-see-is-what-you-get person...and seriously dont ask hER anything you dont want the answer too!!S He is also very truthful & trustworthy and hER word is hER BOND!! And hER fav words wen She has to reply to a statement culbeans.Often imitated never duplicated.whats inside her never dies. she is presenting you with an empty canvas and is going to  fill it with color and sound.

what do they call her?...

They call me NAJHA